So far so good...

Today has been a good day...... a long day but a good day.
It all started with my first post op meeting with my surgeon..... here I found out that whilst the final report from the pathologists was not finalised, he had seen a preliminary  which indicated that there was no sign of cancer in the lymph nodes and that the mass he had removed was contained
(plus it was a whole heap smaller than when initially discovered)..... Fricken awesome news. This means that the chemotherapy and radiotherapy were successful.... the dog was tamed! good dog for listening and behaving!
So whilst I still need to officially wait to hear the finalised report and then wait to see what the next step is (I may still need a final dose of Chemo, with the aim of catching any potential stray cancer cells that may be lurking around), I'm feeling pretty happy with where things are at right now.... its weird to think I could actually be cancer free right now... let just watch this space!
Also discussed at todays meeting was the eviction of Judith.... who is starting to out stay her welcome at times... especially tonight when she decided to play up (all I'm going to say is that leaking bags are not fun!). It is hoped that (depending on potential chemo) an eviction notice will be given to Judith in the next few weeks with her needing to leave sometime in January!!!! whoop whoop!

I had to have a giggle today... I ran into one of the Dr's that looked after me on the ward... his words "you look really different"  -I take that its really good to know that I have two different distinct looks.... dressed in "work clothes" and looking somewhat respectable and then the "lounging round in bed PJ look", coupled with the "I'm about the throw up/ drug induced dribble face"... I'm now happy to know that there is a visible difference!

Today also marked my first day back at work.... this was successful (abet me getting very tired!), and I have to admit I enjoyed doing something that made me feel like I had a purpose.... recently my only purpose has been to weight the sofa down in case there was a gravity emergency!

well time to sign off... all the excitement of good news, first day at work and "emergency" bag changing affords bed....

night peoples....

RAG x

There is no place like home

Not in Kansas anymore.....

 

HOME... finally home!
So since my last update I have managed to get myself discharged home... I arrived home last Wednesday! Yay for home.
Apologies for this being a somewhat long post (and being a bit disjointed... a lot has happened since I went to hospital)... but it does include photos....

It really feels like a long couple of weeks, from getting admitted on the 4th through to finally getting out on good behaviour on the 12th the length of hospital stay varied from going very fast (I think I can thank a large quantity of IV morphine for a few days of incoherency.... quote the pain management nurse... "your a bit of a cheap date"... thanks I think), through to dragging and being very unimpressive, such as the day that we discovered that, me and tramadol are not good friends (I was rather gutted on this day.... after going through Chemo and Radio therapy without being physically sick.... Tarmadol did it... gutted... literally), and  I have to admit I was pretty lucky to hold my single room right up until my last night, when I needed to move into a 4 bedded room due to an emergency coming in..... this taught me a lot..... my new room consisted of  3 other women, 2 of which were Ok roomies, one however gave me a whole new appreciation to how much crap (and  a lot of wee on the floor!) some nurses have to put up with (hey she made me look like a model patient)... not a lot of sleep that night, but I was very appreciative to the lovely nurse who gave me the gift of ear plugs....

So on the 5th of November "Judith" was born - Judith is the name of my stoma.

 

I read somewhere that its good to name your stoma so that you can openly discuss any problems you might be having in public openly, i.e: "I'll be hack in a minute, Judith's not doing too well...." (beats saying your shit bags exploded or leaking).  Just shortly before Judith was born, my mass was removed... by all accounts this procedure went well, but I wont know the results and the follow up plan (if any) until I meet with my Surgeon once the pathology reports come back, but I am now the owner of one scar running down the side of my belly button (its about 8 inches long) and currently healing well.
The whole operation took just under 5 hours (give or take a few minutes), which means that I have a bit of a road to recovery ahead of me.
This journey started in hospital with me waking up to being hooked up to all sorts of tubes and machines (measuring input and out put, plus feeding me and giving me drugs... yep I turned into a human pin cushion in a very quick period of time... to be added to over the days I was in hospital with lines drying up and veins blocking, so new lines needing to be put in and viable veins found).

After the first couple of days I was finally allowed up... meet my new friend/ wheels ... the moving mandarin..... quick someone get an Occupational Therapist... I was given a zimmer frame (well it has 2 wheels so I will class it as a BLO - Bike Like Object)... thank you to my friends who turned up to bling it up (after they stopped laughing.... the fluffy dice and bell were pretty cool).



the moving mandarin.... I'm sure I'll get the QOM on strava for the laps of the ward with this baby! 

Being in hospital gives you a whole new appreciation for so many things.... your own bed and shower, how quiet your own house is (my room was right across from the Nurses station), how independent you are before going into hospital, and how good "real food is"... don't get me started on "the mystery meat!" .

No, this is not a road kill hamster... its actually pot roast!

Throughout my stay, I have to admit I was blown away by the amount of visitors and well wishes I received... I have to say I have the coolest friends and family... you guys rock. From the friend that called in every day after work, my co-workers who txt and visited, the friends that came in and made me laugh so hard I thought I was about to physically split my stitches, the Facebook messages and phone txt, and emails, the people who brought me flowers and cards and my Minion mascot, right down to my Mum who sat every day keeping me company (must have sucked for her to have to see me sick and not being able to do much about it), my beautiful Miss 7.5 (whom developed quite a interest in all the medical stuff, watching drips and machines), and my other half whom snuck in each night before the end of visiting hours to hang out... every night became date night in the hospital! 

The support I have received from everyone (and this included the nurses and medical staff... its funny when you are wandering around the ward on your daily "walk" and one of the nurses calls you Radioactive girl) has been amazing.... its helped me so much with dealing with this part of my journey.

I'm going to finish up here, I'm still reflecting on what's has gone on over the past couple of week, and will write about it in time....

keep smiling,
until next time.
RAG x x x

Day 6 at the HVDHB health and spa

Well, Wednesdays been and gone and hopefully with it my cancer!
Surgery went well and according to my Surgeon my mass was removed easily and it was very contained (good dog.... No digging holes or jumping fences, glad it paid attention to training school).
So now I'm still in hospital waiting to get the all clear to go home... It's looking like mid to late this week.
Am discovering it's very hard to blog on a phone, so I'm going to post a full run down once I get home.... So stay tuned

Thanks for everyone's support ... Your all amazing

Till next time
RAG x

Ocean view room at the hotel and spa Hutt Valley DHB

So here I am, t minus 10 hours.
Today I checked into my home for the next 7 or so nights... Managed to score a single room which rocks.... Fingers crossed I keep it for my whole stay.
My room is facing the Wellington harbour, and yep I can actually see ships coming in at pencarrow heads, plus I'm hoping for a good view of the fireworks come Saturday.

Not sure what to write tonight.... I'm currently lying here trying not to think too much about tomorrow.. (Easier said than done)... But I'm trying to focus on the fact that tomorrow may be the day I become cancer free again. Distraction is the theme for the night, and I'm really grateful to four very special people for doing that... My Mum, my beautiful Miss 7, my amazing man (who also snuck back in after visiting hours finished) and someone whom I'm so honoured to call a really good friend, who just sat and talked and cracked jokes with and at me (what are friends for eh!) oh and she made me an awesome sign for my room.... Hoping to post a pic soon... For some reason I can't post it from my iPhone ( not the best tool for blogging... Hmmm actually I have no idea how to do it lol!).

Can't wait to be rid of this cancer... Fingers crossed this will happen tomorrow!

Untill the next update...
RAG x

5 sleeps

woops, so my update from my visit with the stoma nurse wasn't quite "tomorrow".... 2 nights overdue isn't too long to wait for an update... my excuse....I'm on "cancer time" ;-)  hey having cancer has to have some good points right...

anyway.... so I met with my stoma nurse on Tuesday (a Stoma nurse specialises in all things stoma...  a stoma is the name of the "outlet"/ opening that redirects all your waste etc into the bag). She was a wealth of knowledge (and yes I asked her 101 questions), and made things feel kind of "normal" if you can ever call having your small intestine re-plumbed so it sticks out of your stomach.
during my meeting we looked at its placement (within reason you can have a bit of say as to where it will sit), so that I can ride my bike comfortably and that it "fits" ok with my body shape. The big test will be this weekend when I attach  a sample bag to my skin and have a test ride of my bike and have a play with my clothes  to see if its comfortable.

As I write this, time feels like it is very quickly ticking away... it is now only 5 more sleeps until I have to go into hospital... my first night in hospital will involve prepping for surgery, this will mean I will have to stop eating on Monday night...  my last meal for what may be quite some time....It feels rather weird knowing that I have some knowledge about what is going to happen to me.... 4.5 hours in surgery, recovery, getting crammed filled with tubes and drips (everything going both in and out is carefully measured for several days), nill by mouth until my gut starts showing signs of working, and a swimming pool of water being IV'ed into me to make sure I don't dehydrate. For someone who's never had more than a local anaesthetic and a few stitches the whole concept of what is about to happen is more than daunting.

I guess what I take come comfort in is that this time next week it will be all over... I'll be into the next stage of my journey... hopefully fully cancer free.... after all that has happened in the last few months, I seriously can't wait for this to happen.... fuck off cancer, I have shit to do.

oh, before I sign off for the night.... I thought I'd give you an update from the side effects of the chemo... yep, 5 weeks post chemo and I'm still having side affects.... remember the red feet? well they are not sore anymore (yay), but they are weirdly shiny... picture Tom Cruise sliding across the floor with white socks and a shirt on.... except I don't need the socks and I can do this on carpet without trying!  new party trick!  adding to this my hands are still shiny at times as well... Chemo does weird shit to your body.
So I checked my feet today, and as well as being shiny, I now have large strips of skin coming off... stupid feet!  I feel like some creature that sheds its skin.... crap I'm turning into a lizard! hmmm attractive ;-)

Right enough of crusty feet.... I'm off to brew a pot of greentea.

till next time... take care
RAG x

A touch of normal

It's been a busy but good week.... Tuesday was my Birthday, boy have I been spoilt... am I feeling the love by those around me (both near and far)? YES.  If I can name one positive thing that has come about since I discovered I have cancer, is that I have really discovered who my real friends and Whanau are. These are the people who make you laugh, hug you when you need, include you in their life events such as involving you in their sporting events as I'm pretty much relegated to the bench at the moment, take you out shopping, spend time facebooking me, and most of all... just treat me like I'm me.
My Birthday sadly did involve me having to work during the day, but I did get to eat my Fish and Chips and although I may have peaked to early on the food front, I did manage a few teaspoons of ice cream and chocolate sauce at the end (better than nothing eh!).
My amazing other half went all out, and to top my day he brought me a new camera so that I have a new hobby to do over Summer that's a little more slow paced that trying to ride my bike everyday. I have to confess... I must be getting old.... it took me forever to work out how to set the time and date on the thing!!! I am very thankful to my sister-in-law who sat down and explained some of the bells and whistles on it!

Fast forward a few days... this weekend has been a long holiday weekend, so we decided to drive up the Island to New Plymouth to visit family. Its been a great weekend... busy but really nice and relaxing (although I have to admit I'm pretty tired) , from watching Miss 7 play with her cousins (especially watching the bond between her and her 2 and half year old cousin....talk about two peas in a pod!!! hmmm this could be trouble in a few years!), to sitting down and spending time with Miss 7's Grandparents and  then spending the mornings and evenings with my Brother and Sister-in law its been a great weekend. So good that I even started to forget that in just over a week the next part of this journey begins.
This only really started to dawn on my during our rather slow drive back (Labour weekend traffic driving back to Wellington is horrible!).... tomorrow I meet with the stoma nurse to talk over what's going to happen and to find out the finer details of my Ileostomy... which I have a strong feeling will have a huge impact on my life for a while.... lets start writing my list of questions.....

I guess on a positive note, it does mean that I am one step closer to finally kicking this cancer in the butt once and for all.... I'm not really looking forward to tomorrow.... I know wisdom make you stronger, but it also gives me more "food for thought" to add to my ever increasing bank of stuff going through my head!

I guess I should start getting my big girl undies out... I think I'm going to be needing to put them on....

I'll report back tomorrow.....

Until then... I'm off to get some catch up sleep and to reflect on how cool this weekend has been.

take care
RAG x

Monday update

Well, today we met my Surgeon... and I now have a bit more of a plan.... well kinda.
The info so far.....

• The tumour has now shrunk (yay!... apparently its nearly half its original size... the radiotherapy did its job well... oh and its still shrinking!).
• My operation day is looking very much like the 5th of November.
• I will end up with a temporary Ileostomy (basically they are going to re plumb my intestines, with my small intestine being rerouted to the outside of my stomach... which means for a few months I will have a bag... sadly not Gucci, but its way better than the other option). 
• I may or may not need another dose of Chemo... this will depend on the pathology results after the op.
• I will be the house guest of Hutt Hospital for about a week (give or take).
• Surgery will be open rather than laparoscopic (scars are cool eh!), and will take about 4 hours (sweet all I have to do is have a sleep).

The next step is for me to meet with a stoma nurse to find out what I'm in for, and to hopefully look at placements for my bag.. I'm planning on being able to ride my bike without it getting in my way so I'm keen to get the placement just right.

Things are moving, and I'm hoping I'm nearing the end of this by killing and getting rid of the cancer once and for all.

On a side note... tomorrows my birthday... 37 has always been my favourite number so lets hope its a good omen that things are on the up!!! Am also hoping I'm able to enjoy tomorrow by eating ice-cream.... fingers crossed for a nausea free day!

right time to sign off and clock in my last few hours left of being a young 36 ;-) 

RAG x x x