All aboard... next stop.....

Well its been a bust few days, so I haven't been on here to update what's been happening....

On Wednesday I finally stopped my course of both Chemo and Radiotherapy - Yay.... one major milestone done.

hopefully my last every dose of Chemo!


Its funny how I've got into such a habit of traveling into town every day to get zapped that on my first day not having to drive in I felt I was missing something... no having to control my road rage with dumb drivers during my 40 minute commute to the hospital (I think I actually progressed past road rage to having full fledged Tourette's!) , or finding a park or walking past the giraffe .... yes there is a giraffe outside the hospital...... chocolate fish to anyone who can tell me where it is.

Cancer has a way of becoming a full time job - taking drugs, organising visits, going to treatments, picking up prescriptions, fending phone calls, applying creams, gels and other lotions to skin....  the list goes on, and this happens on a daily basis... on top of my usual job (yep.. I'm still working), and trying really hard to fit in such things as picking up Miss 7 to take her to swimming etc. I am sooo lucky I have a fantastic partner who (among other things... the list is huge) picks up all the other pieces, wrangling small child, shopping, cooking, coming to my "big" appointments and putting up with my melt downs ohhh and randomly buys me stunning jewellery.

So what have I been doing since Wednesday?... the big question may people keep asking me is if I'm feeling better... well, hate to break everyone's bubble by letting people know this, but sadly things are actually scheduled to get worse after the final treatment...and yep they have. The principle of the radiotherapy is that it keeps working and "building up" for a period of time after the actual doses stop. This means that for the next 10 or so days after the treatment stops I will continue to get side affects and they may (and will get worse).
This has meant that I have already been back to the hospital for a check up due to some of the side affects relating to my skin breaking down getting worse (and also getting an infection).... this has meant that I have had my pain relief upped (apologies to the poor person whom rang me this morning to be greeted by my best zombie impersonation), which has also meant a decrease in the amount I can work and drive etc. My side affects have also caused my mobility to  greatly decrease (thank you hand-foot syndrome you can fuck off soon, you are no longer on my friends list!), and stupid skin breakdown.

Why does Morphine look like lollies????

there goes my hand modelling career

Not the best photos but for reference my hands are usually normal in colour, currently both hands and feet are bright pink in colour.

 



I should also make it clear that despite this week having some all time lows, there have been some really good moments.....

• I won a 1 hour pamper session at a beauty salon in the city through a monthly draw at the Cancer Foundation.
• On Friday I went to the Look good Feel better workshop... wow this is a fantastic organisation that works with women whom have cancer. They provided trained volunteers that help pamper the women, by giving them make overs, and what's even cooler is that you get to take home all the make up you use! although I wasn't sure about going at first (not physically looking like I have cancer can make me feel rather uncomfortable around those who physically look unwell), I had a total blast, it was nice to feel normal again, in a room full of woman with cancer, not once did anyone mention being unwell, or being controlled by it... it was nice to be around others going through similar things and be just like everyone else.

 

• I FINALLY finished my chemo and Radiotherapy - that in itself is a major up!
• The longer I am off the chemo drugs the better my hands and feet are getting.
• Realising I am not alone..... although I am not feeling this way or have felt this way since my diagnosis as I have a fantastic group of people around me. It is really reassuring to know that no matter how bad my skin looks, or how gross the things my body is doing to itself look or sound, or how bad I am feeling (physically and emotionally) I have people around me that don't care about how I look, they haven't run a mile, or made excuses or have been frightened off.

 

I know things will get better, its a waiting game.... I don't know where my journey will take me and what stops I will need to make on the way, but what I do know is that I am learning such lessons about myself and those around me that wherever this journey ends up I will be making the most of what I have learnt... I will also be in forever awe of the friends and family I have that have been part of this journey...  so all aboard this is going to be one adventurous road trip.......

 

 

till next time...

RAG x