One down, 5 to go....

I've just completed my first full week of Chemo and Radiotherapy... so far so good!
As small as this may seem, I feel like its a pretty big milestone in moving forward.

So much has happened over the past few weeks, from the very beginning till now, I've learnt a lot about myself, cancer, and how I have a truly amazing group of people I can call friends.

Having cancer changes a lot... its not just the day to day stuff like having to take pills twice a day or making daily trips into Wellington to get microwaved, its the things like acknowledging that life is now different.... plan B even (gone is our spontaneity to plan ahead a few weeks to go Mountain biking out of town; taking advantage of the really cheap flight to San Fran in Feb next year; or planning the start of a new job).
It changes the way you feel about yourself, as much as I would never have really considered myself as normal, I would now love to see my self as normal.. oh to be the vanilla ice cream option rather than the goody goody gumdrop type (weird chemical taste, semi radioactive colouring, with hard lumpy bits that get stuck in your teeth!).

Oh to have a cancer free life again, where I don't feel self-conscious about being sick (can people tell I'm sick???)  or about what others think of me and my diagnosis (I've been told that most people hear the C word and automatically think that it equates to a death sentence).
Telling people is the hardest thing... and I have to confess I have put some people in the "too hard basket" in terms of telling them.... how do you tell one of your closet friends you have cancer when the are in the middle of the joys of having their first born?  cancer sucks, it really does.

As I said at the start of todays post, I've learnt a lot in the past few weeks... here's some of the lessons I've learnt...

1.       Much to my disappointment, Isoscan will not make you wee glow in the dark.

2.       Suppositories and having a coughing fit don’t go well together.

3.       That apparently my signature is quote: “impressive, its messier than mine, is that really your signature?” I consider that a complement from a Doctor!

4.       It is possible to fall asleep in a MRI scan when you’re in it for 50mins!

5.       When the radiographer starts to tell you able the risks of radiation when about to have a MRI, and you reply… “what…. it’s not like it’s going to give me cancer… you do realise why I’m here?” is one way to floor someone… poor man lol!

6.       That despite the health profession/ sector in NZ getting bad press for unhelpful staff, long wait lists and people generally being unhappy with their care, I have come across nothing but really amazing medical professionals that generally do go the extra mile to help. Something I am really grateful for.

7.       When having an ultrasound, whilst being accompanied by my partner, it pays to check that the sonographer has a sense of humour when you both look at each other mid scan, hold hands and ask “is it a boy or a girl?”

 

8.  A full week of radiotherapy treatment is not enough to give you super powers, or make you glow in the dark .... I'd like better results after week 2 please, otherwise a refund would be good.

 

9.  Friends are amazing, they are what keep you going. Its the little things, from people bending over backwards to offer help,  those whom laugh at the situation as much as I do, to those whom treat you exactly the same as "before" , through to those who bring you home made vanilla essence to help me get back to "normal". I so appreciate every text, Facebook message and phone call. I have some of the most amazing people in my life.

 

10.  (*warning* sappy moment) I really do have the best partner/ best friend in the world.... enough said.

 

11. Cancer really does suck, but it doesn't have to be a death sentence... cancers can be treated (sadly no one writes good cancer movies and books where the person survives... apparently that's not a money maker). Stats for cancer survivor rates are getting higher all the time. I do plan on dying.... in about 50 odd years so until then Fuck you cancer... I'll write a pretty good book at the end of this... watch this space.

until the next instalment..... (I promise more pics next time),
take care


RAG x