Dear 2014.... you sucked! Part 1

I'm in mixed thoughts about the title of this post... whilst this  year really has been pretty much overshadowed by the nightmare of the last 5 month, it has also been a year where had it not been for  events in July, that this may have pretty much been one of my last, so in that sense I am rather grateful.
I am also grateful for this year giving me some perspective into many areas of my life... what is worth worrying about, what is worth fighting for and who my true supports and friends are.
On reflection, despite this year being generally described as "shitballs" I do have to admit there have been a lot of positives.
Hey, the biggest being that I'm here and at this point of time looking pretty good to being on the "cancer free track"!

Life has changed a lot this year, not just for me but for everyone close to me... Cancer has a way of involving everyone, from my other half whom has held my hand (shhhh I'm not sure if he has actually realised this is a form of PDA!) throughout this whole thing, made me laugh when I needed it, cooked for me, looked after me and most of all.... been there when I have needed him; through to my beautiful "Miss nearly 8" who plays food police ('are you allowed to eat this?'), gives me unconditional cuddles, makes me laugh and most recently has become Judith's "personal protection officer" ('Careful, you don't want to do that, you might pop your bag'... I'm not quite sure what she thinks will happen if it pops... or how it will pop... but either way its pretty cute); cancer has also affected my family, friends and my co-workers... all of whom have been dragged along for the ride and have all played a part in making life over the past 5 months bearable .

2015 is a new year, with it, it brings new challenges, unknowns and the opportunities to push myself. I feel lucky in a way that Cancer has given me the opportunity to assess my life, to figure out what I want and don't want in my life, what to fight  really means and what living is really about.
 While I'm pretty sure there was a more "less invasive" way  to learn these lessons other than getting cancer... I cant change things so I'm just going to continue to go with the flow.... and whilst doing so making cancer suffer from me.

there is a lot I want to write about the new year, but since its New Years eve, I'm going to sing off tonight... and spend the night eating icecream!

have a safe and happy night everyone, make the most of it... even if it only involves sitting curled up with your other half eating icecream... make it meaningful for you... tonight will only happen once...

RAG x